A better way

Being a parent is hard. Being a foster parent is no easy task either.

Both require commitment, compassion and love, but many times the children placed within the foster care system come from difficult circumstances, making parenting even more challenging.

“At-risk children need love and support,” said Navara Reardon, a Children and Family Services counselor for Heritage Health. “They need to be seen and noticed. These kids need adults who can be bigger, kinder, wiser and stronger when the emotions overwhelm them.”

“We are finding an increasing number of parents who identify their biological children as suffering from dysregulated behavior,” said Reardon.

Some of these children, through no fault of their own, have suffered physical and emotional trauma that can take a lifetime to overcome. Fueled by emotion, these children struggle to regulate their behavior and do not have the ability to verbalize their needs in a healthy way -- making life frustrating for caregivers, said Reardon.

“Far too often the people responsible for caring for them are unable to look beneath the behavior to find the more vulnerable need,” said Reardon.

Caregivers often default to the parenting methods they are most familiar with to address poor behavior. Punitive punishments, including physical punishments, are believed to be ineffective and actually prolong the healing process. For children with experiences of abuse and neglect, punitive punishments spark a fear-based central nervous system response.

Reardon is piloting a program new to North Idaho called Trust-based Relational Intervention.

It’s a therapeutic model that trains caregivers to provide effective support and treatment for at-risk children. TBRI has been applied in orphanages, courts, residential treatment facilities, group homes, foster and adoptive homes, churches and schools.

“This training has been successful on a global scale,” said Reardon. “Adults who are willing to use the principles frequently report rapid results.”

TBRI was created by child development scholars at Texas Christian University about 10 years ago. The counseling program operates on three sets of harmonious principles: Connecting, Empowering and Correcting.

The goal is to support secure attachments which in turn will stop destructive cycles of abuse, substance use and pain.

“This approach is powerful.” said Reardon. “I truly believe that parents, teachers, attorneys, daycare staff, etc. are doing the best they can with the resources they have. I want to introduce them to resources that will address the behavior while preserving the spirit of the child. ”

Heritage Health’s Family Support Services is spearheading the program locally and others have joined the effort too. The Coeur d’Alene School District is implementing TBRI and has hired two individuals to provide the education.

Heritage Health also is offering regular TBRI group meetings at its Children and Family Services building in Coeur d’Alene.

To get enrolled in the TBRI program, contact (208) 769-4222.