Ex-Milwaukee officer opens up about PTSD as part of effort to create recovery house for first responders with PTSD, substance abuse problems

Police officers and firefighters often find it difficult to open up to civilians, but for nearly a half-hour on Saturday, former Milwaukee Police Officer Matthew Schulze did so in front of nearly 100 people.

In 2018, Schulze was behind the wheel of a squad car during a vehicle pursuit on the city’s north side. It ended tragically, with the squad flipping nearly 20 times, killing his 23-year-old partner, Charles Irvine Jr.

The guilt Schulze felt from the crash wracked his nerves and sent him into a deep depression. He started drinking more. His behavior became unstable. One day, he called his wife to tell her he was sorry and put a gun in his mouth.

But he couldn’t pull the trigger.

“I felt I was too weak to do it,” Schulze said Saturday. “But looking back, I was too strong.”

Schulze, 38, related the story during a fundraiser at the Wisconsin Club for SALS Houses, which is trying to raise $100,000 to create a recovery house specifically for first responders suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder and substance abuse.

His appearance came after a difficult week for the Milwaukee Police Department. An unarmed community service officer, Naeem Sarosh, 35, was shot and killed in an off-duty incident Monday. Another officer, Thomas Kline, took his own life Tuesday.

“Just tragic,” Acting Police Chief Michael Brunson Sr., said Thursday. “Terrible week for us.”

John Arneson, the founder of SALS Houses, said he thinks a first responder recovery house would be the first of its kind. (The acronym stands for Sober Alternative Living Spaces.) He hopes to open it as soon as October, with space for 12 guests. The organization raised about $25,000 prior to Saturday.

Shawn Lauda, a former president of the Milwaukee Police Association, said the reluctance first responders have about acknowledging their trauma around civilians makes it a necessity for them to have their own safe space.

Lauda accompanied Schulze on stage for his talk. At times it appeared difficult for Schulze to speak. He briefly left the stage at one point to collect himself.

“They put on the uniform and they’re supposed to be strong pillars of the community, show no weakness,” Lauda said before the event. “We really don’t like to be around civilians, showing our weakness. That’s really tough for us. To be around our brothers and sisters, that makes it easier for sure.”

In August 2019, more than a year after Irvine’s death, Schulze was charged in Waukesha County with battery and two counts of disorderly conduct — all misdemeanors with domestic abuse modifiers. His wife told police he suffered from post-traumatic stress and physically abused her and threatened her life, according to the criminal complaint.

The battery charge was dismissed, but Schulze pleaded guilty to the other two counts in May and received 18 months of probation for each count, according to online court records.

After the crash that took Irvine, Schulze said he avoided meeting with psychiatrists and other medical professionals, fearing they were untrustworthy or unable to understand the nature of his job.

“With people who aren’t in public safety, you don’t know what their views are with officers or firefighters,” he said. “Whereas if you interact with people who do that, they know what you’ve been through. They know what the job entails.”

Even after retiring from the Milwaukee Police Department, he said he still only feels comfortable opening up to those with similar backgrounds.

Before leaving the stage Schulze encouraged the audience to “donate big” to the cause.

Contact Elliot Hughes at elliot.hughes@jrn.com or 414-704-8958. Follow him on Twitter @elliothughes12.