‘They failed her’: Mother of slain Medical Lake girl calls for more mental health resources after her death

Darel Stolworthy stood in the entryway of her home on Tuesday as she watched her daughter come off the school bus in her wheelchair, heartbroken and in tears over the loss of her siblings who both cared for her deeply.

Lilea “Lilly” Stolworthy, 11, was shot and killed off North Prentis Street in Medical Lake on Sunday. She died from a gunshot wound to the head, the Spokane Medical Examiner said in Tuesday release. Detectives believe she was shot by her brother, who shot himself soon after. The family declined to name the brother.

According to the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded around 4:40 p.m. to a report of an injured girl lying in the street. Initial information indicated she had been approached by her older brother when witnesses heard gunshots, followed by a Ford Mustang speeding away. He was found 20 minutes later, slumped over in a car with a pistol in his hand in what the sheriff’s office called an attempted murder-suicide.

Darel Stolworthy said the brother is on life support while organ arrangements are made, as he is a certified donor. The family is grieving, she said, and people are starting to place blame on them when they have no idea about her children’s lives.

She said her children were both struggling with mental health problems, which led to the shooting.

“This wasn’t vindictive. It wasn’t anger. They both had issues they were dealing with. It’s easy if you don’t know circumstances to blame someone,” Darel Stolworthy said. “If you don’t experience the heartache with mental health or haven’t seen them struggle, they feel like they’re failing, like they are never enough. No one understands.”

One of the last conversations Darel Stolworthy had with her daughter was her expressing she “wanted to be done.” And while being a caregiver for his other sister with disabilities, Darel Stolworthy’s son helped Lilly, too. He loved them, was kind and would even loan people money when they needed it, she said.

“They were both dealing with mental health issues,” Darel Stolworthy said. “It was so much of a burden. They didn’t want to carry it anymore.”

But Lilly was so much more than her mental health – she was a good friend, she was funny and she would often help others. The family has received many texts from her friends saying how much they loved her and expressing their condolences.

Darel Stolworthy adopted Lilly at birth, she said, and she would have been 12 in March. If she had turned 12, she would’ve qualified for a mental health program that could have helped her, Darel Stolworthy said. Lilly Stolworthy was also in counseling, but on a long waiting list for a different therapist.

“As a mother, I was trying to get her help,” Darel Stolworthy said. “I was doing all I could calling people, but she doesn’t qualify for certain programs. They’re so filled up … They failed her. Our mental health community failed her and are failing others.”

If there is one thing Darel Stolworthy wants people to understand, it’s that more people need to speak out about mental health, place importance on the issue and fight for kids who need support.

“We need to make changes to help kids,” she said. “We need coping skills and classes on mental health. That should be as important as math or science. We are waiting way too late.”